How to deal with the number one problem at every event

Two weeks ago you went to the Gala at the INSA, you enjoyed the night, but still something got on your nerves. Security and their ugly bastard dog? People having cooler suits than yours? Try to think harder, I’m talking about the number one problem here… And of course it is ECOLOGICAL REUSABLE CUPS!

Some eco-friendly evil genius was like: “The world is in danger, we should like get rid of all plastic pint glasses and replace it with reusable cups. How cool, genius me!” (To be read with that eco-friendly people stupid and irritating voice).

The shiny bastard
The shiny bastard

So, you go to the festival or a random event and then you head to the bar. Or not even the bar, you need to buy tickets/coins first that will be exchanged against drinks. So, you go to the coin desk, and you buy your goddamn coins. And then the girl tells you: “But Sir, you need to buy a pint-sized reusable cup for you to drink at the bar. I’m going to charge you 1€ for that.” and you go: “What !? Ok, I’ll pay. What choice do I have, my hands?“. You sigh, that’s one buck you won’t spend on drinks.

Look at them, don't you want to slap one?
Look at them, don’t you want to slap one?

Then you head to the bar, you buy your beer. Pretty expensive, but that’s okay, the queue for the coin desk made you thirsty. You go back to the concert to meet your friends. You drink your beer. And, there comes the trouble. You are left with a huge empty plastic reusable cup. You want to dance, to enjoy the party but you are way too afraid of losing your cup. You want to have your hands free, to clap your hands. But, you are stuck with that cup from hell.

But of course INSANE is here to help you on how to deal with that bastard cup.

Solution 1: YOLO


Ok, people of the festival you have won. You decide to throw your cup toward a random person’s face within the crowd. You’ve lost 1€ but what is the price of freedom? Maybe you will eventually find another cup that someone threw, like you. Or you’ll buy another one…


Solution 2: Hide it


Do you see that carpeting fixed to some fence for decoration? Maybe you can insert your cup between the carpet and the fence, your cup won’t get stolen that way you are sure! But snap! Someone saw you do that and is now heading toward the carpet, stealing your cup. Basically the kind of guy who is funding his festival tickets on stolen reusable cup. But maybe no one saw you, cool…


Solution 3: Bag it


One of your girl friends decided to bring a bag to the festival, the kind of in-couple friend, who took the bigger handbag she could find to show that she is not available. Ask her kindly to store your cup while you head to the mosh pit. When some of the alcohol in you circulatory system has worn off and you decide to drink again, you can’t find the girl. Yeah, she was bored and went home. You check your phone “Hi Dude, I was a little tired and went home. I will give you back your cup on monday! XOXO”. No comment.

Or you can bring your own bag. Put your cup in your bag. Though, when you get out of the mosh pit, you’ll find it crushed.


Solution 4: Wear a collar


Seriously no.
Seriously no.


I hope this article will help you even if, I admit, there is no universal solution to that problem. There is always a risk of your cup being lost. Good luck with that at your next festival!

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